Jesus Died in a Snowstorm + Other Miracles
Jesus died in a snowstorm. It was exactly like that one movie
with the snowstorm where people died blanketed in clean cold.
Jesus died while downloading the Spotify app for His iPhone.
He was driving & downloading & that’s dumb & probably illegal
in like twelve states. It’s possible I’m terribly wrong, I apologize:
Jesus died halfway through the fifth season of The X-Files.
Dana Scully stayed paused while Jesus pretended to sleep
behind a boulder for three days. I never believed origami
could save us, so it was always raining by mid-afternoon.
Mornings, we could paint them every night.
It’s easy to forget a good fuck but hard to remember how
to forget a bad one. Jesus died outside of a strip mall.
Imagine sipping coffee & watching people.
These people, they all walk on their feet—
they hold hands & sometimes their hands are sweaty
& sometimes their hands are peeled onions.
Jesus lost sixty pounds on the Subway diet.
Jesus smelled like a magazine cover.
I was like Fuck, man, You’re doing it all wrong.
You have to peel off the edge of the ad, rub it on Your neck.
After Jesus died a second time, the earth birthed cracked sidewalks,
hospital waiting rooms, awkward fire escapes.
After Jesus died a second time, boredom birthed oral sex,
the Internet, Ralph Nader’s fear of automobiles.
There is no reason to keep childhood photos
If so, we’d always stay childhood.
& before most of it, Jesus said I can never find the ground
no matter how hard I look.
& before most of it but after he said that, I told Him
You’re two feet above it, with half a tree of oak behind you.